I knew I was a bona-fide troublemaker when afterward, someone asked me what her name was, and I was like, “Um… it’s on my website…”

Actually, I was just flummoxed by having finished my Dorkbot presentation on teledildonics, wading through technical difficulties, then actually having remote sex with a (really hot) girl in New York while I was in SF. We were both being watched by crowds on our respective ends of the remote stimulation, and well, you’ve probably never stood in front of a raucous crowd while piloting a sex machine hoping that you’re giving a woman the right amount of stimulaiton, timing and warm-up… it’s a little hard to explain the feeling. But she did say she had two orgasms, and was “sad” that we signed off because she could’ve “kept going, no problem” (and let me tell you how tempting *that* was).

The presentation went very well, even if we had technical difficulties with the machine at first. There are pictures and video from the event here, it’s been Boing Boinged here (thanks sexy vixen), and there’s a sweeeet report on it here.

I was happy to see so many people — the crowd was sizable and standing-room only, and there were many people from SRL, Webzine 2005, Fucking Machines and other assorted friendly dorks in attendance. I wrote an eight-page (and highly caustic) overview of teledildonics and created a Power Point presentation to go along with it, which was projected onto a big screen. Why so caustic? I’ve grown very tired of people trying to be proprietary about sex and technology; it’s that simple. I’m also sick of sleazebags in the adult industry getting attention for making useless crap and not caring about the end user; *and* having retarded ideas about gender stereotypes shoved down our throats by the people with enough money and access to sexual expression to be able to fucking grow up about it. It’s like everything most of these sex toy/teledildonics/virtual sex entrepreneurs learned about sex and gender comes from TV commercials and their websites are horrid little time capsules of 1998. Grrr!

At first I was bummed I couldn’t present from the audience (my preference), but I hid behind a podium and my iBook, where I spoke into a microphone, had Allen on my cell phone the entire presentaiton (so he could listen in), and had my iSight mounted on my iBook so Allen could watch me while I spoke. The audience laughed at my jokes, but really got their kicks moaning and groaning at all the caveman tech I showed them (the Sinulator interface slide — huge hoots and groans “Arrgh, VRML!”). I was wireless on the web, so when my Power Point presentation was over I just opened the window to the Thrillhammer camera in MoSex New York, and — surprise! There was a close-up shot of Net Michelle’s pretty pussy poised over the dildo, ready to go. Whoa — pressure, on.

She played with her clit and pussy lips as I explained the controls on the Flash interface to the audience. Then I began — and nothing. It wasn’t working. Of course, as with all things like this, it worked perfectly when we’d tested it two hours earlier. I could work the camera, but not the dildo/vibrator. They began troubleshooting in New York and Iowa (where Allen, the inventor was after Shibaricon). I tried to keep the audience’s attention, and tried to speakerphone him to the audience for questions, but the speakerphones didn’t work either. The audience was getting rambunctious, but they were still listening to me on the phone. I stayed near the mic, because I figured the problems were really part of the presentation — this is the stuff that happens with teledildonics in its current state. Also, being dorks, I figured that if they didn’t fetishize technical difficulties, they had no business being at a Dorkbot.

I asked the SRL question: “Is it plugged in?” The audience roared. Then the response — the model had unwittingly stepped on a plug, and yes, it had lost power. Then, we were back on.

The audience was buisily and noisily drinking, chatting, laughing. But I was actually fucking her — having sex with her, and I was focusing on what I should be doing to get her off. After all, Allen had charged me with giving her at least an orgasm for her trouble. Pressure to perform, with a million twists. I spoke into the microphone, over the din — “Hey, if you want to watch, I’m fucking her right now.” It quieted down, but not all the way. I could hear something, and shouted through the mic for the audience to be totally quiet. You could hear the Thrillhammer buzzing, and Net Michelle — having an orgasm.

After that, at the request of the audience I asked the crew in New York to bring the camrea to the model’s face — we’d been unable to see her face throughout the demo. In fact, all we could really see was her pussy, which turned out to be a disappointment for many. It’s funny, that’s such a common complain I hear about regarding porn in general, that you never see the whole person, or their body, just parts. If we do it again, I’m going to make sure we see the whole thing, not just the “pink shot.” Especially because the machine was just as much porn for us as the sex itself. You know how we are.

Here is a list of links to the people I talked about in last night’s presentation (and I’m sure this list will turn into a teledildonics crib sheet for lazy journalists, though there’s much more out there than this brief lecture sample):

Ted Nelson * Howard Rheingold’s Virtual Reality * Vivid’s Cyber Sex Suit (article) * iFriends Network (safesexplus.com is now defunct) * Digital Sexsations * VR Innovations (barf) * The Sinulator * HighJoy (Doc Johnson; Vivid) * Slashdong.org (we WILL open source) * The Thrillhammer * Sybian * Advanced Medical Robotics/Erotichine.com * Moonlite Bunnyranch * Masturbate-A-Thon (Portland chapter) * House of Gord * New York Museum of Sex * and of course… Net Michelle

Very soon I’ll put up the text and photos and documents form last night’s presentation — but I need to think about how many people I might piss off in the process, so it might take me a day and a bit of careful editing… This morning I felt the whip-crack! of my dear Jonno at Fleshbot, who has been so sweet to give me time off for all this… so now, back to the ‘bot.