Well okay, I’m actually featured in a superlative piece on sexual frustration by Martin Downs; I really like the context Downs gave the topic and it covers pleasure, rather than health (read: no “take a pill” mentality). It even includes same-sex couples! Cool! Now I will run around my living room in tight little circles screaming like a little girl! But even if you’re not all cranky from pent-up sex stuff, Prescriptions for Sexual Frustrations has a lot of insightful info in it, including tips from one of my sex-ed sweethearts, Lou Paget.
Update: I’m in this month’s issue of Men’s Health, too (print and web), in an article shockingly titled “32 Ways to Jump Start Your Sex Life.” I’m #22, which is totally spooky because that’s the day of my birth. But #14 was mine too, though I didn’t get credit. But than again, #13 is pretty weird: “ethnic restaurant,” “new part of town,” “dopamine” (a precurson to adrenaline)… um, I guess this article is for Whitey McWhitington whose date gets all freaky when you take her to the soul food restaurant… Oh, and then there’s #30: “You know her dreams–children, a beach house, season tickets to the Steelers–so tell her your plans to give her that and more. You’re touching a primal desire and emphasizing your long-term commitment.” This article smells like ass, yo. Now I will bite the hand that feeds and be the first one to offer to bitch-slap the jounalist that interviewed me. Or tell him to suck my dick, anyway (I have a collection under my bed in various sizes, colors and sparkles). And doesn’t someone run an article with that title every month?
I already have superpowers anyway. Now I will create a weather machine.
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