I got the call this morning. "This is that guy you met on New Year’s (actually the trumpet guy from the Marching Band but I licked his girlfriend’s boob on New Year’s) and if you want to die, it’s on Saturday, at (location in very rambling run-on sentences). The murder starts at noon, so get there a little early if you really want to get killed. Dress like a meter maid, wear a light blue shirt, black pants and a bicycle helmet." Ohmigawd, I am *so* there. I found out that the Marching Band will be playing in a parade, and they will get attacked and eaten by zombies. I hope I get to die and be a zombie! I want to eat the Marching Band! But where the hell am I going to find a cheap bicycle helmet that I can get blood all over, by Saturday? Meanwhile, still no word from Suicide Girls… my fingers and toes are crossed…
I found this picture on BBC America, it’s from a protest in Tokyo today. Laura Bush wore white, and I think that is just so fucking tacky. And Rice had on a mink hat. And the twins, what a pair of skanks. Someone needs to take out the trash, if you know what I mean. Nothing like a deliberate pageant to flaunt the pleasures of uninhibited excess in the morning. Nauseating.
I did something weird and fun today. Someone gave me a credit card and asked me to shop for sex toys for him. Not to use with him or anything like that, but kind of like a personal shopper. I know you’re thinking — who is this guy? He contacted me through Tiny Nibbles, and I made sure he wasn’t a stalker, and we signed a contractual agreement — he’s just a very rich web guy, a nice wealthy geek with a wife that I met and who knows all about it, etc. He gave me an idea of what he wanted, I gave him an estimated budget, and I cut loose. I shopped at each of the online adult retailers, the big ones and a few small ones, and bought him nearly $2000 in toys. It was really, really fun, and I got to see what shopping at all the main sex toy shops is like. Crazy. The funnest things I bought for him was a feather butt plug, a face harness, and a jewel butt plug. Those are the things I’d like to have bought for myself. I shopped at twelve online adult retailers, but I’m not sure I have a favorite — yet. I’ll give a full review when he gets his stuff and I find out if all the toys work, are made well, etc.
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