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:: I Do Love Bears   26.10.2004

Exotic Erotic, bleah! Actually, it wasn’t too bad. My first happy moment was when I went to will call to get my bracelet, a "standard admission, wait in line, no perks because you’re a vendor" bracelet. The lady behind the window seemed bored and over the whole thing — she asked my name, and looked me up. And found two entries. She asked, "Who are you with?" Good Vibrations. "Oh — I like you." She looked at me sideways. "Are you sure?" Um, yes. I think so. "You’re not with <other name I’ve never heard of>. Are you sure? No, you’re with <other name I’ve never heard of>." Really? "Oh, yes, you are. It’s much, much better. Trust me." She then handed over two VIP passes and bracelets, crossed out both of the "Violet Blue" entries on the master list, and pointed us to the no-line VIP entrance. Sweet! When I retold the story to a laughing and cheering crowd of GV employees inside, they high-fived me and shouted, "Ding-ding! Score one for the original!" My posse. Then Carol showed up and we drank beers and gawked at the crowd. Check out the pictures here.

The porn is piling up — seriously! For my regular Sirius radio gig tomorrow (Derek and Romaine, Out Q Radio) I need to review bear porn, Colt studios porn and I’ll wax about some other tasty titles I’ve seen lately. But my porn watching schedule was interrupted by visiting pornographer Tony Comstock, with whom I had a lovely dinner last night (along with Hornboy, Carol and Robert, and a mystery porn reviewer). He’s not nearly as old and curmudgeonly as his photo looks, or as he seems via email. We had Italian food and wine, and they all mostly talked about selling stuff and price points and I kind of drifted off… until Carol brought me back with a fabulous idea. She muttered something about cloning one’s self so one could literally "go fuck one’s self." I had a flash — what would it be like to have a Real Doll made of — me? Think about it. You could have sex with yourself, but a nice, not talking too much version of yourself that only existed for sex. And you could share yourself with others, without being there, or in stereo. Like doing it with twins, but without the kinda creepy incest overtones. I’d fuck myself silly! Oh wait, I already do. I never got my Real Doll orgy, threesome, or even a round with the slack-jawed, glassy-eyed boy doll, and this would be *so* much better. Seems like it should be a service for bored rich people.

If you haven’t experienced the Lie Girls, you must. Call the toll-free number and listen to the recordings — they’re hilarious! Thanks to Kallipugos.

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