Where oh where the hell have I been, many emails have been asking… A horrible bout of food poisoning (with fever and antibiotics), having my DSL cut off without my consent by SBC, and moving my entire apartment all within one week had me well off the map. Strangely, the week culminated and ended with me moving into my swank new pad on Valentine’s Day and ending up that evening in the most extravagant house I’ve ever been in for Shar and Jackie’s 8-year anniversary party — a house that had an indoor pool and hot tub. It was like I came to after a long bad dream and found myself naked in a faux tropical hot tub/pool with dozens of naked lesbians and Susie Bright, Carol Queen, Annie Sprinkle, Shar Rednour and Jackie Strano, and a wide-eyed Hornboy (one of very few men) who I think pinched himself the entire time to see if it was indeed a dream. It wasn’t, but lemme tell ya, it was quite surreal. And really, really fun.
I’ve missed my site greatly, and my latest pet project, the Smart Girls’ Porn Club discussion group I founded and moderate on Tribe.net. All kinds of women have joined and are filling the message boards on all kinds of porn topics, mostly on the subject of — where can I get some good porn, dammit!? If you’re a woman who wants to join, please do, as it’s turning out to be a great way to get questions answered and get recommendations, or vent complaints, you name it. It’s free of course, and a labor of love (lust) for me, just like this site, but I can interact directly with readers which is really fun for me.
An interesting side note, or a rather sweeeeet benefit of all my labors of love, I was emailed today by a woman in the club who wrote:
"I appreciate your clever, straightforward manner, and am grateful you’ve channelled some of that into creating the smart girls porn club. It’s so lovely and enlightening to read the opinions of such a wide variety of smart, sassy women.
(name withheld) and I saw you at the Monster Ukulele gig (and maybe later at the Sleepytime Gorilla thing at Bottom of the Hill?). We kibbutzed a bit on a plan to convince *you* to come get a massage from us at my studio after the show(s)… but we agreed to wait till he returns from tour.
In the meantime, if you are at all interested, I’d love to make you a gift of a 90-minute massage vacation as thanks for your club (not to mention the fun I’d have discussing porn while you’re completely relaxed and nekkie under my oiled fingertips!). So who says great things don’t come to those who create tribes?"
Should I go for it? As if I needed to ask *you*…
Lastly on my mind is — christ on a stick, why the hell are Christians reading my fellatio book, and even stranger, what unholy ghost possesses them to write bad reviews about it on Amazon? Like, duh — my book is about a very dirty sex act (the dirtier the better) and the content is… offending them! I can only guess that the book was recommended on some Christian messageboard, the ladies thought, well I spend a lot of time on my knees, why not make Jesus a happy man, and bought the book (I’ll take that money, thank you very much. No, no — don’t give it to the Family Values Coalition, give it to the cute girl with glasses who likes to write about sucking cock). Then they read the book and realized that to suck a cock, you need either a) another nice Christian lady with a (preferably huge) black strap-on cock, or b) a real, non-imaginary man (unlike Jesus). But seriously, in the book I don’t judge anyone’s preferences about anything — religion, sexual activity, gender, predisposition to get really wet imagining Mike Ditka throwing that football through the tire swing talking about erections while clutching my fellatio book cleverly camouflaged in a paper bag bookcover with the word "BIBLE" scrawled on the cover and "Jesus is really hot." No, I judge not. Even I think Jesus deserves a really rockin’ blowjob. And doesn’t he have like a million volunteers for the task? But if anyone is reading this and liked the book, feel free to write me something nice on Amazon about the fellatio book and doesn’t say things like "the Bible tells us…"