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Bound for Disappointment, or BFD: A parody novel by Sheri Savill

by Violet Blue on August 17, 2013

Bound for Disappointment by Sheri Savill

Parody novel Bound for Disappointment by Sheri Savill unleashed its scathing BDSM insider-baseball satire upon the literary world July 10, but this thing’s painfully, hilariously timeless. Savill’s brilliant short novel manages to lampoon whingey female submissives, cloying sex culture personalities, a variety of cringeworthy male dominant stereotypes, tepid BDSM, and the public’s annoying hunger for awful BDSM books, all in one fell swoop. And I want more! The book’s Amazon description does it justice:

Enter the glamorous world of BDSM erotica author and real-life submissive Tara Febreze … lisping sales girls, sabotage by a rival author named Vageena Royale … one Dom with a combover and a moped, another who writes books about his genitalia, and still another who can’t seem to get the hang of the whole “spanking” thing …

Tara Febreze is the bestselling author of Thoughtless Submission and other hot BDSM erotica novels. She’s seeking the Dom of her dreams, one who can make her … clenchy, as she calls it … all while dealing with irate readers who expect the moon and stars for ninety-nine cents, hostile ranting reviewers who follow her to conventions, protestors chanting her name outside a sex shop (…)

Publisher’s Note: This is a parody about BDSM and erotica-writing, and is intended for adults only. It contains some offensive language, BDSM themes, truly mild spanking, and a Dom with bad dandruff. The book Thoughtless Submission does not exist, nor do the other books mentioned in this work.

You will laugh, you will cry… you will not regret the best $2.99 (or £2.07) you’ve spent all weekend. All I want to say to Savill right now is, “Please, may we have another?” Right now it’s only available on Kindle.

Read a fabulous interview with Sheri Savill about Bound for Disappointment at Behind The Chintz Curtain. Fellow erotica and sex authors: read her commentary, and let’s weep together. In the interview, Savill shines – here’s an excerpt:

Jane: Would you ever recommend looking for a Dom in the frozen foods aisle?

Sheri: Yes, by all means. Look for the black flip flops and other tell tale signs of Domliness. Really, I think Doms are hard to find these days. It’s all submissives now. They’re being hatched somewhere. Someone needs to spray, or set out bait traps. The big ones. Where HAVE all the Doms gone? Who has them? Is there a ransom note? How much do the kidnappers want? Can we raise the money, Jane!? Online petition? Why isn’t there a rent-a-Dom service? Why? I don’t want to buy one because they lose more than half their value the minute you get them off the showroom floor. My head swirls with questions like this pretty much all the time. You know how they say a creative mind is like a computer monitor with 2,853 windows all open in separate tabs, all at the same time? My mind is exactly like that, only there’s a 404 on every page.

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Sex News: Condom snorting, DC Comics’ transgirl, Lulu hack, tech sex work, Audrey Tautou

by Violet Blue on April 16, 2013

  • Sperm out the nose. Braces. Barf…. and – I was so glad to see – just as many stories from blowjob givers, as from blowjob-receivers. Enjoy! Or… cross your legs…
    What are your bad blowjob stories? NSFW (Reddit)
  • DC Comics told Wired that it will continue to expand the LGBT diversity of its superhero universe by introducing the first openly transgender character in a mainstream superhero comic. In Batgirl #19, on sale today in both print and digital formats, the character Alysia Yeoh will reveal that she is a transwoman in a conversation with her roommate, Barbara Gordon (aka Batgirl).
    DC Introduces First Transgender Character in Mainstream Comics (Wired)

  • A relatively new Pasadena City College class called “Navigating Pornography” – devoted to giving students a venue to study and discuss a touchy topic in an academic setting, according to its professor – has already prompted praise and concern.
    College Offers Course Devoted Entirely To Pornography (The College Fix)
  • Sex workers in Silicon Valley use social media for effective marketing, while a survey from HuffPo and YouGov says that 1 out of 10 Americans would have sex with a robot (seems kinda low to me).
    Sex Tech: Tech-savvy sex work in Silicon Valley (ZDNet)
  • I think this is one of the most frightening “pornography laws” ever: The Anti-Pornography Bill 2011 proposes that those found guilty of abetting pornography be fined up to 10 million Ugandan shillings (£2,500) or jailed for up to 10 years, or both. Simon Lokodo, Uganda’s ethics and integrity minister, who proposed the Bill, said: ‘Any attire which exposes intimate parts of the human body, especially areas that are of erotic function, are outlawed. Anything above the knee is outlawed. If a woman wears a miniskirt, we will arrest her.’
    Ugandan women wearing miniskirts face arrest under new anti-pornography laws (Mail Online)
  • A gentleman has social-hacked his way onto Lulu (a website aimed at college women, where girls “review” men they have dated – for better and for worse). He has offered his hack up to Reddit so other guys can look themselves up and see if they’ve been “reviewed.” This is where I remind you of how very fucked up a website like Lulu -but for men to review women- would be…
    Weekend project: site to read what women have written about you on Lulu (Reddit: Technology)

  • The premise is simple: simply suck the condom up your nostril and pull it out of your mouth. Kids have been doing this for a few years, but it seems to have taken off recently–for what reason, I’m not entirely sure. Just search for “condom challenge” on YouTube.
    Kids Are Snorting Condoms Now (Animal New York)
  • Ms. Naughty has a detailed, fun and wonderfully descript summary of what it was like to attend the Feminist Porn Awards.
    Feminist Porn Awards 2013 (Ms. Naughty)
  • An estimated one in 1,500 babies is born intersex. The term is used to describe conditions in which a person is not clearly male or female. Not all intersex people are born with atypical genitalia. Sometimes the differences may be at chromosomal or gonadal (ovaries and testes) levels. So – what has been happening to these babies? The answers are upsetting.
    Intersex: Straddling the sex divide (Windy City Times)
  • Animal New York presents us with an artist’s hypnotic CGI animation/test footage of an avalanche of fleshy, bouncy, shiny penis-dildo hybrids. It was created with Real Flow 2012 to simulate soft body dynamics. It took 62 hours. It is titled “I’m so sorry.”
    And Now, An Avalanche of Dicks (Animal New York)

  • An erotic photographer decided he’d had it with the way female erotic models are treated and characterized – and his blog post/rant is slow-clap, fucking 100% amazing.
    Models and Prejudice (Elegance Studios)

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Eye Candy: Hardcore Porn – with a Philosophy

by Violet Blue on June 26, 2012

This installment of Eye Candy features some really lovely hardcore, along with MetArt’s just-released philosophy.

It describes their ethos about making porn that’s explicit, pretty, respectful to performers and viewers, ethical, privacy focused, they support women’s causes, equal rights, and “fair trade.” Their philosophy underscores what I’ve been describing for years as the trend in adult sales to become more customer and human-focused – what I call “the Whole Foods approach to porn.”

The MetArt lineup consists of five high-end websites that (in my opinion) have changed the face of porn. The original site, MetArt, has been around for ten years. The Life Erotic features female masturbation; EroticBeauty is natural amateur nude models; Errotica-Archives features explicit erotic photography style of Erro; their new site SexArt showcases hardcore (yet intimate) boy-girl sex and solo female masturbation scenes.

(Disclosure: I am a proud MetArt affiliate.) MetArt’s philosophy states,

(…)
Fair Trade
Our models and photographers are not just a “resource” or “the talent”; they’re our partners and family, the face of our company. We practice “fair trade” in an industry sometimes known for deception and mistrust. We work with only the very best talent, and make every effort to ensure their happiness and ability to earn a respectable income. We are proud to say that our models and photographers are the highest paid in the industry.

Membership Privacy
Long-term relationships are built upon a foundation of trust. The relationship we have with our members is no exception. That is why we do not share, sell, or in any way abuse, private member information. Additionally, your data is protected by the most state of the art security available in today’s market, ensuring our members peace of mind. We also guarantee a completely safe and legal environment. (…)

This is the kind of porn that qualifies for what I feature here on TinyNibbles. MetArt is a major company, and a big presence in online porn for well over a decade now. But despite MetArt’s sprawling websites and many imitators, they are the exact kind of porn that is routinely ignored by people that prefer to characterize *all porn* as degrading or lurid, and that the women are coerced. As we see here, these negative characterizations are on their way to becoming more obviously wrong than ever.

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Ig Nobel Award Sex Research Roundup!

by Thomas Roche on October 17, 2011

Chimera by Niceman for Erotic Mad Science

The Ig Nobel awards are given every year by The Annals of Improbable Research to, as Annals puts it, the purveyors of “research that makes you laugh, then think.” The caption-crazed felines I know would call that a LOLWHUT, as in “LOL!…whut?”

I’m on record as thinking that the Ig Nobel awards display, alongside their precocious cleverness, a stubborn love of ignorance when it comes to many topics, chief among them…science. What I mean to say is that it’s pretty ridiculous to give an award to Erich von Däniken, who said that human beings were taught to build pyramids by aliens from outer space, or to Pat Robertson for saying God told him the world would end in 1982 — and then give the same damned award to research investigating “why discus throwers become dizzy, and why hammer throwers don’t.” The latter example is science; the first two are made-up garbage. They might both seem silly, but they’re not the same thing.

Furthermore, those stodgy types at the Ig Nobel awards show a significant disrespect for human sex research. Their awards indiscriminately go to people who research weird things about mallard necrophilia, whereas completely boneheaded science on human sexuality gets a free pass. There are also some sex-related Ig Nobel prizes for what seems to me, as a sex educator, like perfectly valid science.

One of the recipients of a recent Ig Nobel award happened to be a guest a few weeks back on Stephen Fry’s pseudo-game show “Q.I.” This gent was Professor Chris McManus of University College, London, who received a 2011 award after surveying the fact that although physiologically, in humans, the right testicle is larger and hangs lower than the left in right handed people, the ancient Greeks got this simple anatomical fact exactly backwards in their statues, where, predominantly, the left testicle preferentially hangs lower. How is that not important to know? Did the ancient Greeks favor left-handed models, or were the Testicle Aliens confusing them with mind-control rays in order to make sure they built the Acropolis properly? This is critical research.

Nonetheless, my outrage doesn’t extend to turning down an Ig Nobel-inspired “LOLwhut” or two. While my giggles over how weird human sex research can be should not be interpreted as a disregard for the important work that sex researchers do — or for the research that doesn’t get done because of anti-sex prejudice — I just can’t help myself sometimes…now and then, sex science is hilarious.

That’s why I looked through the list of past Ig Nobel award winners at the Journal of Improbable Research and came up with a list of sex-related weirdness that scored awards over the years…and even compiled my own 2011 list of questionable sex-related research. [SATISFY your CURIOSITY and CONTINUE READING…]

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New TinyNibbles Feature: Eye Candy

by Violet Blue on January 11, 2011

explicit eye candy

If the main reason you visit my website is for the free porn, or if you want to be able to find it when you need it, than I have a special new feature just for you. In the top tabs, there is now a tab linking to a page called EYE CANDY. For your complete enjoyment, here is the RSS feed (http://feeds.feedburner.com/tinynibbleseyecandy).

EYE CANDY is where all new “pretty girl,” “hot boy,” “delicious queers” and all general gratuitous porn and free gallery posts will go – and where to find all the archives. You won’t miss anything. These posts will still be posted on this blog as usual, while being simultaneously posted on the EYE CANDY page and feed.

In case you don’t know, for all my porn posts I link to free galleries with videos and large images of quality porn, personally screened and handpicked – it’s stuff I think is well done, authentic, where performers are having a great (and safe, and sexy, and sometimes cute and joyful) time. They are the promo material of paysites, and I am not encouraging you to sign up, only to enjoy yourself. My goal is to create and demonstrate a “Whole Foods” approach to porn.

I also aim for eroticism and diversity, chemistry, and sex acts that are real life desires, rather than porn stereotypes. But, I feature those too sometimes because when they’re good, they’re arousing too. Diversity in sex acts, gender, skin color, sexual orientation and safe/sane/consensual kink and offbeat sex is all warmly welcome – just as much as the leggy Eastern European models and candyfloss porn stars. I make no assumption about who you are. I seek to empower female porn viewers and create a space where men are not stigmatized. I seek to create a third space for genderqueer porn viewers as well.

I get notifications of new shoots from various sites almost every day, and I comb through them. I do my best to avoid giving you what you *don’t* want to see, and I take requests – and I deliver.

Enough manifesto! Here are some galleries for this exciting EYE CANDY post – these are all from French porn empire Explicite Art, heterosexual hardcore (I tend to think the men on this site are tastier than domestic male performers):

* Busty blonde Sabrina with whipped cream, candies and a Hitachi.
* Liza Del Serra seems to combine yoga with anal sex.
* Lou Charmelle and Sharon Lee in warmer climes, being nasty by the pool.
* Lastly, two video (.wmv) galleries where you can just skip to the come shots, mostly facial: gallery one and gallery two.

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How to Be A Good Sexual Citizen of the World [Midori]

by Violet Blue on August 27, 2010

This stellar article from my dear friend Midori is right in line with the aesthetic I see increasingly expressed by the hundreds of thousands of people who visit this blog regularly. It’s what I call a “Whole Foods attitude” we’re all cultivating about porn, sex toys, and figuring out good ways we can live our lives as sexual citizens of the world. I love it! Here’s a snip:

(…) Below you’ll find some ideas on how to commit random acts of sex-positive agitation. They are small actions and subtle agitations. No life changes required. Some may push your own comfort levels and challenge your preconceived ideas and habits, but that’s part of growing as good citizen. Composting wasn’t the easiest thing initially for many of us either. Regardless of how stealthy or not, the actions should be made with wit and cheekiness. Accompanying any of these ideas with humor, levity and a mischievous grin can bring great success. Big thanks to my readers who provided some of these ideas. If you have ideas to add, please post them here!

Santa, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy and You:

If you find yourself staying at a hotel that supplies a bible in each room, tuck a packet or two of condoms in it when you check out. Flavored condoms just might get people thinking about what sort of sexual activities could be made better with little extra tastiness.

Got teenage kids? Stash the bathroom drawer with condoms, dental dams, gloves and a good safer-sex info booklet. Let them know it’s there. Make sure to check and resupply as needed.

Offer condoms to homeless youths. Small paper bags make the transaction smooth. This is a high-risk group that has a chance for turning it around with a little help with risk reduction. If you’re not keen on the idea of giving “handouts” of money to the homeless, why not give condoms? It’s even better if you include cards from the local youth shelter or free STI testing clinics. (…read more, carnalnation.com)

Photo by Nikola Tamindzic.

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a quick thanks to the highlighted May sponsors

29 May 2010
I'm proud to handpick my sponsors, and lucky you put up with my shout-outs. June sponsors are just around the corner, and I wanted to give big props to May's top placement supporters who are ethical, attentive to my needs and crazy ideas, and cool with my demands for artwork […]
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seven real reasons to date a geek boy

20 March 2010
Image by the amazing Exey Panteleev. Women's magazines have a bad rap these days. They get ridiculed for being out of touch with today's woman, overusing sex to sell units, promising sexual tricks they can't possibly deliver, missing the mark by oversimplifying male sexuality, and trading on female insecurities to move […]
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cold comfort: desperate UK media throws its writers under the bus, too (Zoe Margolis)

17 March 2010
Image by Exey Panteleev. When Paul Carr writes the post, I don't really need to frame it for you. Here, one of my favorite writers (Carr) tells us about one of my other fave writers (Zoe Margolis) being treated as a second class writer by a mainstream publication in either a […]
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Cunnilingus FAQ: What Do Women Taste Like? by Violet Blue

14 August 2009
The odors and tastes found between women's thighs have had volumes of euphemisms written to commemorate, or denigrate, their uniquenesses. While researching my book The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, I encountered oceans of euphemisms, yet little actual information about the way women smell and taste. Women and men who enjoy […]
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Fellatio FAQ: What Do Men Taste Like? by Violet Blue

14 August 2009
Fellatio, when given with skill and enthusiasm, is wonderful to get -- virtually any man will attest to this fact. Just the same, the reverse can be true; giving head can be incredibly arousing for the person going down. But for the giver, fellatio has a multitude of factors that […]
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Fellatio Facts and How To Give a Blowjob

26 February 2008
Praised by edgy, witty science writer Mary Roach as "Helpful, hip, wise and savvy," I'm honored that my book The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio 2nd Edition is a bestseller and the top pick of sex educators (and lovers of all genders) worldwide. I'm a professional sex educator and my first […]
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Violet Blue’s Guide to San Francisco

26 February 2008
Violet's Guide to San Francisco Before you begin, find out what people mean when they talk about our "San Francisco Values". As my dear friend Chriso aptly puts it, "Run for your life -- it's that Rihanna song again!" Chances are good that if you're checking out this guide, you're visiting […]
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cross your legs tight, and read about the g-shot

29 June 2007
In early June, the Chronicle/SF Gate devoted a few miles of HTML to an article about the "G-Shot". This is a new procedure where women who feel (or are convinced they feel) G-Spot inadequacy, have a shot of collagen injected into their urethra. The idea behind the G-Shot is ostensibly […]
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welcome to San Francisco

21 June 2005
As my dear friend Chriso aptly puts it, "Run for your life -- it's that Cher song again!" That's right, this weekend is SF Gay Pride, one of the weekends here where (literally) buttloads of tourists visit to celebrate, drink, get laid, feel really good about the world, feel really […]
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