Often I see sex-related news stories, and I think: “There’s absolutely no way I would ever write about that, because it’s stupid.” As I’ve been informed by erotica writer Nikki Magennis, that’s because I keep reading the Daily Mail.
The Daily Mail does indeed seem to be decidedly Foxy — it holds down the delirious-sensationalism side of the spectrum over on the right side of the Pond. But in the matter of hotgluing bling to your weewee, I have an internal debate between the Pejazzling is Sex-Negative Thomas and the Pejazzling is Merely Body Ornamentation, and It’s the Press Coverage That’s Sex-Negative — If you’re pro-piercing, you should be pro-Pejazzling.
As sex educators and psychotherapists are fond of observing, “Should” is a four-letter word. The problem is, I think Pejazzling itself is a media hoax designed to get more free press for Vajazzling. Period. Not because “men would never do that” — I’m quite confident some of them would, and others wouldn’t. I think Pejazzling is a hoax for purely anatomical reasons.
In the first place, the very term Pejazzling seems anatomically ignorant, like the term Vajazzling. Anyone unclear on the difference between a vagina and a vulva should not be selling things to glue onto either one. Had it been called Vujazzling, I could have lived with that. In a “just society,” vulvas should have every opportunity to get blinged out all to hell, without being ridiculed by the likes of me (insofar as anything out there happens without getting ridiculed by the likes of me). It is my considered veteran-sex-educator opinion that bling for your vagina proper should be limited to things like stainless-steel dildos, smart balls and insertable shiny vibes.
And as for Pejazzling? Look, the penis does things that the vulva just doesn’t. Or, rather, that certain tissues in the vulva do, but in an entirely different anatomical context, given (potentially, though not always) drastically divergent fetal development. And Vajazzing appears, for the most part, not to be Vujazzling either, but Pujazzling, for Pubic Region jazzling, for either gender.
Y’see, for anatomical males, it seems to me that gluing rhinestones to your dick would be highly impractical however it was done. (For males utilizing a non-anatomical penis, this gets a lot simpler — but gluing crystals on a dildo or soft pac is not what I’m talking about here).
If you glued them on when you were erect, you’d have to stay erect or your rhinestones would likely go poppity-pop all over creation, and likely roll under the refrigerator. Such a thing wouldn’t be very blingy in practical terms. On the other hand, if you glued rhinestones on your willie while you were soft, it seems like you’d have to utterly refrain from popping a boner or, again, they’d go popping off, probably accompanied by your howls of agony.
That would, quite frankly, be a heck of a dom/sub scene — I could envision a CFNM cocktail party, kaffee klatsch or ladies’ bridge party, with some lucky gent expected, nay, commanded to maintain his erection, under threat of a humiliating storm of airborne rhinestones while the ladies laugh merrily. But I’m fairly sure that’s not what the Daily Mail has in mind. [SATISFY your CURIOSITY and CONTINUE READING…]
